It was hot, dusty with a fierce sun beating down. People gathered around us, first out of curiosity and then out of a deep necessity. Once they realized that donations of clothes and random school supplies were being distributed, they came with hands out.
I don’t want this post to be about the things we gave out or to who it was given to. Not about the skinny dogs, the hungry children in ill-fitting clothes or the defeated looking parents. I want this to be about rising above it all in spite of it all.
A sense of gratitude
Whenever I spend time in one of the barrios, I return home with a renewed sense of gratitude. The needs are many, too many for any one day or any one person to fix. I realized today that heading out to the barrio is not always about them, it’s about me too.
Tomorrow will be my first Mother’s Day, without my mom. I felt the urge to head out to the place where the smiles and hugs make me feel grounded. A dose of reality about the delicate balance of living in paradise. To remind me that even with my profound loss, I still have plenty to be grateful for. Besides, this is exactly what my mom would have wanted me to do.
Tears of happiness
Today instead of tears of sadness, I shed tears of happiness. I spoke with someone about dreams that can come true. In these barrios, are many children with big dreams, lots of smarts, and the drive to succeed, but what they lack are an opportunity and encouragement. After a while, hunger and despair can take over and slowly kill the dreams, dull the drive and waste the smarts.
In a society that tends to have policies that inadvertently or perhaps not so inadvertently, keeps the poor right where they are. Breaking the cycle of poverty in Ecuador is not an easy task. It’s rarely accomplished without a hand-up to someone astute enough to recognize it, grab it and run with it.
This brings me to Michel
Michel is 18 now and resides in a neighborhood much like the one we hung out in today. I have known her personally since 2013; I know her family, her siblings, her life, her struggles. She often misses meals or has meals that don’t meet any sort of daily nutritional needs. I know of many times she would give her portion to her younger siblings; she is just that person.
For the past 5 years, Michel has been paired with a sponsor that helped with her school supplies. A Canadian couple that she has never met, lovingly sent funds to ensure she received what she needed to get through her studies. This year, she graduated and I was invited to the ceremony. As you can imagine, a tear rolled down my cheek.
Keep your eye on the prize young lady.
Knowing what she was up against made the graduation ceremony even sweeter. Remembering back to our pep talks, sharing a meal and asking her to stay strong and stay focused. I believe in her and let her know that as often as I could. Her life can and will change; I have no doubts. Often reminding her not to have babies, with my finger waving and my hand on my hip. I promised her that I would keep looking for a way to help her or to find someone that could. When things got tough, I asked her not to give up, even when she was hungry. It’s a temporary state, keep looking forward. I was scared she would give up; another young woman selling cola in the streets with a baby in her arms.
Another milestone that leads to … where?
Year after year the sponsors, both near and far, help to buy school supplies for disadvantaged kids, but where does this all lead for her, for the others? We all know graduating high school is just one milestone of many to overcome in life, but it’s not the finale. It doesn’t answer all the questions nor open all the doors.
There are many free university courses here. Free as in no tuition but not exactly free to attend. There are living and commuting expenses, supplies that are much more expensive than in public school. The simple fact is, the children living in the barrios I was in today, cannot participate in these free universities. These families can barely feed their children at home.
Today, as we handed them pencils, crayons, sharpeners, and pencil cases I knew in my heart that the majority of the children I saw today, will remain in their desperate cycle of poverty, unable to break out due to insurmountable realities; unless of course, a hand reaches down to help them up, and they grab on for dear life.
Not only can these families not afford to send their children to these universities, but the public schools they attend don’t prepare them to have the grade scores to enter. The consensus is since they won’t attend further education, there is no reason to groom or encourage them to end their high school year with a score of 700 to 800. That’s the grade required for entrance to many advanced courses, including the military and police. We just found this out while working with Michel on her future plans and you can imagine my eye roll when I heard this. They don’t prepare them as it’s expected they will not attend university. A thought pattern that tends to perpetuate the cycle of poverty.
Let’s not discuss your future young lady because, well, you likely don’t have one.
So what do you want to do with your life …
I asked Michel what she wanted to be if money was not of concern and she answered; a National Police Officer. They have an academy in Quito and there is a 2 year and 4-year course. She wants the 4-year course.
I asked her why that profession and she shared that she understands the gift before her. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and she doesn’t intend to waste it. She said many people go to university and become doctors, lawyers, or vets but that doesn’t always give them a job. After years of studying, they sometimes have to start a business but she won’t have the money to do that. Once she is done her police training, she will have a job. She wants to serve her community and felt this would be a good way to give back.
The hurdle she faced next was that her public school did not prepare her for advancing her education. We certainly can’t forget the fact that she made it through high school, often without proper nutrition, no breakfasts, sometimes no lunch as well. I found this reality profoundly sad and it explains part of the reason that the poor stay poor here. How do you excel under those circumstances?
The moment you realize the impossible is possible.
So here we have this young lady, so smart, so driven and so understanding of the opportunity before her. This will literally change her life and the life of her family forever and she is eager and desperate to make it work. I spoke with her sponsors. I will never forget the look on her face when I told her they are willing to help.
In the short term, we have paid for her to attend an upgrade course to bring her grade score up to the 800 required for entrance to the academy. This cost was $80. Her sponsor paid for a driving course; this costs $180.
Can you imagine where a $260 investment is a life-changing amount of money?
For the long term, her sponsor has started the process to create a foundation to help raise funds locally in Canada to assist Michel through the 4-year course. In July, she will be done her upgrade class and ready to start English. There is also a 3-month Academy preparation course that starts next Jan/Feb that will cost between $700 and $800. Additionally, she will need to live at the academy for 4 years. They do not charge tuition but there is a monthly living amount between $350 and $450. She will need personal and school items, laptop, and travel money to come home once a year. This newly formed foundation and the funds that it will generate in Canada will be key to her future.
This brings me to Alex
In the barrios today, a young teen named Alex was with us. He is gathering up volunteer hours for his scholarship application. After distributing the items, we shared a hamburger and brainstormed his next project. I shared Michel’s story with him. As I spoke, he listened, then shared his own story with me. He reminded me that his story and future were similar to Michel’s. The direction of his life is now only possible from the help he receives from an expat couple that lives in Ballenita. He is being mentored by them in many ways. They are guiding him with the application for a scholarship program for eventual education in the US and work on personal development skills with him. When he talked about his future with me you can feel the excitement radiating from him.
I asked him: “In the end, what did you want to do”.
He said “I want to do what you do, what Denise and Paul do. To help people, to change their lives”.
His love and admiration for his mentors were so obvious. The gratitude he expressed over our lunch for his sponsors, made a tear roll down my cheek.
He said, “No, don’t cry”
I replied, “It’s ok, they are tears of happiness”.
“The ripples from your life, your future, will touch many people. I am very happy for you'”
They are the future of Ecuador
Michel and Alex both have a long way to go to realize their dreams. The difference between them and the children I met today, is they have been given an opportunity. They chose to grasp on, to see where the path leads; their lives forever changed.
Both youngsters plan to give back to their country.
I see Michel weekly for updates and feel her excitement. I see the twinkle in her eyes. Like Alex, she knows she will light the way for her siblings. She knows that hungry days will one day be only a memory.
The cycle of poverty can be broken.
The cycle of poverty is breaking before our very eyes and the ripples of that will spread to unknown places and touch unknown people for many years to come.
Michel and Alex will be the success stories of the school list programs and of expats wanting to make a difference. These two will be the first and hopefully not the last. They have been given a gift of a lifetime, they will eventually give back to their families and to their communities.
Perhaps, that will be the legacy of the expats that moved here. Each of us in our own ways helping as we can in communities up and down the this beautiful country.
Maybe long after we leave here, the impact of our presence will be felt through these young people. What a wonderful thought.
PS… Happy Mother’s Day mom; today was for you xo
